[that dimitri is spared the myriad wonders of CATS: the motion picture is a travesty, because it's a technological masterpiece the likes of which he has never seen, but he can just watch high school musical while he's chasing rats in the gym or something.]
[she does. she does. she would like that very much. it's not as if she doesn't understand where this is coming fromโthey don't have any visible opponents, and dimitri's never been one to spin his wheels. so he's taking it out on these creatures, substituting one war for another, just this time the units he's battling are called things like "geese" and "fish" instead of "pegasus knight" and "mage"
and also eating them. which. again, she gets. poisoning. kidnapping. but.
[ but he's not hungry, so there's no point. these creatures are just out here trying to survive, too. unless he has to hunt, he lets the geese and the squirrels harass him and just sits in trees and hisses back at them as he becomes part of their terrible campus ecosystem.
it's ridiculous. he's not going to class, though. she eventually gets another photo, this time of one getting a corner of his muffin a respectful distance away. ]
It is a fat and foolish thing to draw so near to me.
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byleth gets a picture from his perspective, up in a tree. there is an out-of-focus squirrel. ]
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he's in a treeeeeeeeee]
Is that a squirrel?
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Yes, they are a nuisance.
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Are they bothering you in some way?
[oh no
are they stealing the muffins she brought him]
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They are retaliating.
[ aka he started it ]
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think. what would dedue say. gilbert.
"Your Highness, please don't fight the wildlife." well, he was already doing it. what now.
...]
You could try giving them a muffin. [peace offering]
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[ ):< ]
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and also eating them. which. again, she gets. poisoning. kidnapping. but.
but.]
They might lower their defenses around you.
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If I wanted to kill them I would have.
[ but he's not hungry, so there's no point. these creatures are just out here trying to survive, too. unless he has to hunt, he lets the geese and the squirrels harass him and just sits in trees and hisses back at them as he becomes part of their terrible campus ecosystem.
it's ridiculous. he's not going to class, though. she eventually gets another photo, this time of one getting a corner of his muffin a respectful distance away. ]
It is a fat and foolish thing to draw so near to me.
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rum tum tugger intensifies somewhere in front of her.]
He's cute.
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You are foolish too.
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[professor derulo is standing on his desk talking about the joys of actor-sung pieces. squirrels are winning, at this rate.]
Maybe I'm hoping for a muffin, too.
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Nothing is stopping you from getting one besides your adherence to these useless classes.
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[also, she's starting to like CATS? it's fine.]
I'll bring you more muffins after I'm done.
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... ]
Don't bother.
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[willfully misinterpreting things for your rat's health and wellbeing
she writes down a little list of things to do after class.]
Do you have any bottles of water left?
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One was left for me. I do not know that I will drink from it.
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[but he needs fluids. hmmm. apples or fruit? hmmmmm.]
I'll bring you another one.
You don't have to drink that one, either.