[and outwardly surprised. there's a small easement of her shoulders, the tension in her muscles built up to prepare for his resistance flowing out, relief replacing it.]
[ he seems to be considering his words for a moment, before he changes his mind and nods. the burns hurt, as fire often does, and it is a distraction, but not much of one.
after a few beats of silence, ]
Do you think I was cruel today? [ ... ] Weak, perhaps?
[her answer is immediate, although the question catches her a little off-guard, due to her own deep thought on what to say next. she's never been one to fill the silence, or ask many questions, but...
well, they could start here.]
You did what needed to be done quickly and kindly.
[ his breathing is steady, but it seems to hitch slightly at that. he is quiet again, uncertain, but— ]
...I haven't told anyone my regret yet.
[ but if he has to say it to anyone... ]
It is, as you might surmise, not stopping Edelgard when I had the opportunity in school. I saw the traces of her true plans, but... some uncertainty in my heart made me waver until it was too late.
[ he sounds a little angry, but it's tempered. overtaken like a wave by his next thoughts. ]
And yet I... allowed Rupert to continue his crimes—ones that he himself surely hated—because I refused to see the truth with him. And I complicated matters today because I did not wish to kill him. All the same mistakes, following at my heels like my own shadow.
[ he runs his fingers over some of the bandages of his chest, considering. ] So I am either a weak-hearted man, or a cruel one.
she's silent for a moment, still working on his bandages, turning the statements over in her head. it's surprising to hear him mention Edelgard, much less talk about it so calmly. the vision of him on his phone, remembering him mention which voucher he possessed in trial... she's starting to put it all together.]
I think it's neither.
[byleth smooths the edge of a bandage, and moves to work on the next one.]
Kindness is not a weakness.
That you look for other waysā€”that is a strength.
...Ingrid might disagree. She scolded me for my softness, at one point.
[ when was the last time he talked about one of the blue lions? it must be years now. the bandages and ointments feel cool and clean against his blistered skin. ]
...I should have hated Rupert for his victims's sakes. [ maybe that is the crux of the issue, the weak spot of his armor. ] I should have let myself kill him slowly, in excruciating misery. Butā€”if this is kindness, Professor, then I do not know how it can coincide with my goals.
[ saving the dead. listening to his ailing conscience. the disparity between them, perhaps, is where the true weakness lies. ]
[her mind races. they're in the ruins, and he's talking to her like she's a ghost. he's attending the council of warā€”just the council of warā€”bitter and callous. they're back in the stables, the rain pouring down on both of them. then in the forest at school. and here, in the medical office. she can't let it keep coming back to this. the same refrain. the same death march to enbarr.
there was no one else but her to put their foot down anymore.]
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divineimpulse) wrote2021-06-05 06:42 pm
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maybe she expects a fight, but he sounds... contemplative. ]
I had considered.
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I'm... glad.
[and outwardly surprised. there's a small easement of her shoulders, the tension in her muscles built up to prepare for his resistance flowing out, relief replacing it.]
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[ but also, he seems more peaceable. morose, pained—but not angry, necessarily. ]
no subject
she carefully presses a bandage over the burn on his back, working out exactly how to reply. what to say. how to move forward, the two of them.
...]
As long as you're not outside anymore.
no subject
after a few beats of silence, ]
Do you think I was cruel today? [ ... ] Weak, perhaps?
no subject
[her answer is immediate, although the question catches her a little off-guard, due to her own deep thought on what to say next. she's never been one to fill the silence, or ask many questions, but...
well, they could start here.]
You did what needed to be done quickly and kindly.
no subject
...I haven't told anyone my regret yet.
[ but if he has to say it to anyone... ]
It is, as you might surmise, not stopping Edelgard when I had the opportunity in school. I saw the traces of her true plans, but... some uncertainty in my heart made me waver until it was too late.
[ he sounds a little angry, but it's tempered. overtaken like a wave by his next thoughts. ]
And yet I... allowed Rupert to continue his crimes—ones that he himself surely hated—because I refused to see the truth with him. And I complicated matters today because I did not wish to kill him. All the same mistakes, following at my heels like my own shadow.
[ he runs his fingers over some of the bandages of his chest, considering. ] So I am either a weak-hearted man, or a cruel one.
no subject
she's silent for a moment, still working on his bandages, turning the statements over in her head. it's surprising to hear him mention Edelgard, much less talk about it so calmly. the vision of him on his phone, remembering him mention which voucher he possessed in trial... she's starting to put it all together.]
I think it's neither.
[byleth smooths the edge of a bandage, and moves to work on the next one.]
Kindness is not a weakness.
That you look for other waysā€”that is a strength.
no subject
...Ingrid might disagree. She scolded me for my softness, at one point.
[ when was the last time he talked about one of the blue lions? it must be years now. the bandages and ointments feel cool and clean against his blistered skin. ]
...I should have hated Rupert for his victims's sakes. [ maybe that is the crux of the issue, the weak spot of his armor. ] I should have let myself kill him slowly, in excruciating misery. Butā€”if this is kindness, Professor, then I do not know how it can coincide with my goals.
[ saving the dead. listening to his ailing conscience. the disparity between them, perhaps, is where the true weakness lies. ]
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...]
Do you really think that hating Rupert, or killing him painfully, would have appeased the dead?
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[ his gaze turns a little distant, voice wrought. ]
The dead demand it with fervor, even here. Even now.
But they have yet to be satisfied with the number of corpses I have stacked for them.
[ he's trying. it's never enough. ]
no subject
there was no one else but her to put their foot down anymore.]
Then there has to be another way.